A New Short Story

The Crisis

                 By Pete Schulte

Kendall thought she recognized the man who came into the bar, but that was happening a lot lately now that the crisis was over and people were returning to the city. She made a beeline for the man before he could even belly up to the bar. “Where do I know you from?” Kendall asked him. “I think I’ve seen you somewhere?”

“I have no idea,” the man replied, startled, “but you look familiar to me as well.”

“I used to dance on stage,” said Kendall. “Maybe that’s where you’ve seen me? Often people have seen me dance on stage. It’s what I used to do. I danced.”

“Yes, of course, you were with the Poo-poo-pee-doo Review!”

“Oh, no,” said Kendall. “That’s not it at all. Those girls were our rivals. I was with the Dancing Donnas. Do you remember the Dancing Donnas? We were the ones. We stood out.”

“No, I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t remember the Donnas. It was my mistake.”

“What about you?” Kendall asked. “What did you do before…”

“I was a writer,” he said, proudly. “Maybe you…”

“Yes, for the Tribune! They had your picture…”

“No,” he corrected her, “not the Tribune. I was with the Times. Did you ever read the Times?”

“No, I didn’t read that one,” Kendall admitted. “I was a Trib girl through and through. Gosh, are we not a pair of scatterbrains?”

He laughed at her remark and then offered to buy her a drink, which Kendall readily accepted. They each grabbed a stool and hoisted themselves up against the bar. He told her his name was Jack, and that he was with the second wave returned to the city. Kendall searched her memory for anyone named Jack who used to be a writer but kept coming up empty. Still, she thought him awfully handsome and he seemed kind enough. She told him she was drinking vodka; he was a gin man. The bartender caught his eye and came over. Jack placed their order.

The bartender, here she comes. She was an Asian girl, probably late twenties. Jack noticed her sleeves rolled all the way down to her hands and the shirt buttoned up as high as it could go. He thought she was covering scars or burn marks or perhaps a mixture of the two; they all seemed to be covering something up these days.

“Do you like her?” Kendall asked him.

“What?”

“I mean, do you think she’s pretty, the bartender?”

“Why yes,” Jack replied, “she’s very pretty, though I didn’t mean to take notice. I was rude to you.”

“No, it’s okay, really,” Kendall assured him. “Listen, I may be presumptuous here, but if we party later, away from here, I could get her to come along. I know who she is a little; she’s great fun. I believe her name is Kimi. I know she’d be up for it, for whatever.”

“Whew, that’s a fine thought,” said Jack, a nervous laugh escaping. “But you see I haven’t been out in quite some time. I really think I ought to take it slow.”

“Yes, take it slow,” Kendall replied, “but not too slow. Life is short you know.”

Kimi returned with their drinks. She and Kendall made small talk while Jack relished his gin. He was happy now, this moment, and it had been so long since he’d felt anything close to that particular emotion. He could feel himself smiling and it felt so strange. It was as if the muscles in his face had nearly lost the ability to do that anymore and now this -- a smile, albeit of sad kind of smile as if he were a clown. Maybe he was a clown, he thought, as he twirled his gin around, sitting there like a fool with two hotties at the bar. But aside from the girls, the threesome possibility even, it was something else. He felt good just being out in public again, relaxing while savoring a drink, listening to the music. Music again, sweet music…Wow, what a concept? It was good enough for him; it was so damn good, really.

Kendall then asked Jack if he was married. “Sort of,” he said, sheepishly.

“Uh-oh, I know what that means.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Jack said to her. “Terry never came back to the city, with me, with the second wave. She joined up with the missionaries instead. She said she just couldn’t come back and start over.”

“The missionaries,” said Kendall, aghast, “that can be dangerous work.”

“I know. I haven’t heard from her in some time, and I can’t even get a message through. I don’t know where she is. I don’t know anything. I was just tired of sitting at home night after night staring at the walls.”

“You have kids?” she asked.

“We did.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” said Kendall.

“It’s okay. There are so many of us in the same situation, some way worse off.”

“But it doesn’t make it hurt any less,” she offered. “I’m glad you’re out tonight. It’s too painful to hide yourself away, to stare at the walls as you’ve said.”

Jack took a big swallow of his gin. ”What about you, Kendall? Are you married as well?”

“Put me down as ‘sort of’ as well,” she said with a laugh. “Hank and I have an understanding.”

“And just what is that understanding?” he asked her.

“That I go out from time to time when I need to.”

“What about Hank? What does he do?”

“Hank doesn’t go out.”

“Is he okay?”

“No, he’s not,” Kendall admitted. “But it’s not so much a physical thing for him, it’s mental. Hank can’t go out. He does other things.”

Kendall and Jack stopped speaking but smiled at each other, sadly, before returning to their drinks. This happened a lot. One person’s pain smashes into the pain of another and both come crashing down. This is what they were trying to avoid. “Another drink, Jack!” said Kendall, breaking the silence. “Fuck it, I’m buying.” 

They drank enough to get tipsy, forgot about asking for Kimi, and then Jack took her back to his place. It was no great shakes his apartment, but it was ten stories up so you could really see the city. He let Kendall take in the view of the night. “Wow, look at all those lights, Jack! People are really coming back to the city. They’re really coming back.”

Jack agreed. “It seems there are more and more lights every night. Soon it will all be normal again, or whatever counts as normal these days.” He took Kendall by the hand and led her to his bedroom. She went right to the window and peered out at the lights again, her eyes ablaze, as if seeing stars for the first time. Jack sat on the bed still holding her hand, afraid to let go, afraid she would leave him alone; he couldn’t take another night alone. “I want you, Kendall,” he said to her. “I’m so glad you’re here with me.”

“You sure the wife won’t come back?”

“I don’t even think she knows where I live.”

“There’s another thing, Jack. You have to know that I’m damaged goods.”

“What? You’re beautiful.”

Kendall’s eyes went dull. She lost her smile. “Do you know that I was bought and sold two times over? I was another’s legal possession as an adult. Can you even believe that?”

“I believe it because I know the stories are true. I just can’t fathom it because it didn’t happen to me.”

“There’s a chip inside my head to this day. I asked the doctor to take it out but he says he can’t because it might kill me. I told him to go ahead with that but he didn’t think that was so funny. So I have this chip inside my brain. Who knows what it’ll do to me? Who knows what it’s already done?”

“We don’t have to do this, Kendall…if it’s too painful…if you’re not ready.”

“Yes, we do. We do have to do this. I need to do this. Please Jack, I have to feel something besides pain. Hell, I’ll even take the pain. I have to feel something. I just have to. Please, anything. Please.”

He kissed her hand. “Okay.”

Kendall started unbuttoning her blouse. “Could you dim the lights, Jack?”

“I’ll turn them off.”

“I used to love undressing for Hank. He loved it, too. That much I could tell. Now it’s different because I have scars and cuts and other things. I’m a little disfigured you could say. Well, maybe a lot disfigured.”

“It’s all right, Kendall. It’s fine with me. I haven‘t seen a woman in some time.”

“In the dark it’s all right, Jack. In the light I’m Frankenstein. That’s the way it is now. That’s the way it will always be.” Her blouse and bra were gone and then her pants and underwear came down as well. “There, I’m naked,” she said, covering herself the best she could, “and I’m really trying to hold it together here. I’m really trying.”

“Come here.”

“This would be way easier if I didn’t like you, Jack.”

“This won’t be easy for either of us, Kendall. I don’t think it ever will be again. But why don’t we just kiss and this is where we’ll start. We’ll start over again right now.”

Kendal leaned over and they kissed deeply, hungrily, and he felt her scar tissue along her flank. He couldn’t help but feeling scars; they were everywhere. What he could see in the dim light haunted him. On her buttocks was some sort of numerical branding along with deep redness and what looked like serrated whip marks. One of her breasts was seemingly deflated and the nipple was missing as well, the breast covered with stretched and discolored tissue. Her back and legs had similar wounds. Damaged goods? He was shocked that she was alive at all.

Jack pulled Kendall onto the bed then stood up to undress as well. When he was naked she looked up at him, astonished. “What?” he said.

“Please turn around.”

He did as she said. “What?” he repeated.

“My God, you’re like a baby.”

“Hey, that’s not nice. I’m a grown man.”

“No,” Kendall laughed. “It’s just that there’s not a scratch on you. You’re perfect, pristine. How’d you manage that? It‘s like I‘ve won the lottery here.”

“Oh, jeez,” said Jack, joining Kendall down in the bed and nuzzling into her body. “We made it to the underground when all this happened. We made it -- eventually. It was awful, really, but it’s true that I didn’t get a scratch. So many times I considered shooting myself in the foot, the leg, anywhere. But I hear if you get caught as a fake it could go really bad for you. So I’m stuck. I’m just a baby to all of you.”

“Don’t complain and count your blessings.”

“I know, I can’t complain. See, I’m stuck with this pristine baby body.”

“I’ll keep you,” she said to Jack. “You’ll be like a prized butterfly.”

“This isn’t helping me, Kendall.”

“We tried to make it to the underground, Hank and I, but we just came up short, ran out of time. And then, well, it was all over. Eventually Hank couldn’t stand the pain of it all, the ugliness, and retreated into his head. I envied him for this. I wanted to retreat myself but I couldn’t do it. So I heard the screams, watched the disgust, felt the pain, the unbearable pain. Why couldn’t I detach? I wanted to so badly.”

“I think it’s because you’re strong, Kendall. You must be so strong-willed.”

“No, I don’t consider it strength at all. I commanded my body to die when all this happened but it wouldn’t. It’s cowardly. I was afraid to die, completely afraid.”

“There’s no cowardice in wanting to live. You love life, Kendall. You have more to give in this life. That’s what I believe.”

“Okay, stop making me feel better. It’s unnatural. Can we start having sex now?”

“Where do I even start,” said Jack. “It’s been so long and I’m feeling like a teenager again.”

“Listen,” she replied, “I’ve still got a few places that aren’t mangled, that are still in working order. Why don’t you feel around down there and I’ll let you know if you’ve found them.”

Jack did as Kendall instructed and soon stopped being nervous, stopped feeling awkward, and found a rhythm with her movement and her moaning. It felt so good to him, this perfect night with this damaged person. He momentarily forgot about his own damage, his inner damage, his great loss. Oh God, his wife was somewhere out there and his children were never coming back. They’re dead. They’re dead. All he had now was Kendall, this girl he’d just met, this girl he was now fucking. He had to keep her too even if it meant sharing. Jack came inside her because who gives a shit anymore? He said after he withdrew, “What about your children, Kendall? Did you have any children? Do you miss them?”

“No. No children. It was the one thing they couldn’t take away from us. I’m so sorry, Jack. I can see that you’re really hurting.”

“I’m just so damn sad, and I’m happy too. I’m sad about so many things but happy you’re here with me, Kendall. I really am, I‘m thankful to you.”

“I want you to talk to Hank. You’ll come over to our place and talk to Hank. He’s worse off than I am but he’s good to talk to, Jack, and that’s what you need. You’ll like Hank. He’s a good man. Bad things happened to him but he’s a good man. You’ll be fast friends and we’ll build something. Who knows what, but we’ll build something and be people again. I know it. Look at all the lights out there and tell me I‘m wrong.”

“Gosh, I guess we never did figure out if we knew each other before this thing happened,” said Jack to Kendall.

“No,” she replied. “What we are is a new beginning…and I like that.”

The end.