The Corn Starch Kid
By Pete
Schulte
He traveled a lot, got
around. Always a new town or city, always on his own. He liked it that way. No
one had any claims on him. His time was his own. At night he liked to go to
bars. He didn't want anything fancy, but no dive bars either. Something in
between would suit him fine.
He
ducked into a place called Monty’s near the train station. It was cold and
snowy outside so Monty’s would have to do. There were women there and that’s
what he wanted. He drank gin and made small talk with the bartender. He waited
until somebody came around. Somebody always came around. “What’s your name?” he
asked above the loud country music when she came within earshot.
“Me?”
she asked as she hovered near the bar. “Were you talking to me?”
“Yes,”
he said. “I was going to buy you a drink but I wanted to get your name first.”
“Laverne’s
the name,” she said. “What kind of drink you thinking of buying me?”
“Well,
I’m having a gin and tonic. Would you like one as well?”
“Don’t
mind if I do,” said Laverne.
Laverne
had big hair and a big body. He liked them that way. He liked Laverne just
fine. He liked her even more when she asked if he’d like to come home with her.
Really, he thought, was there any doubt?
Laverne’s
apartment was small but neat. If he ever stopped his rambling ways, this was a
place he could see himself in. But now wasn't the time for such thoughts. Now
was the time to get Laverne in bed. “You want me to make you another drink?”
she asked him.
“No,”
he replied. “I want to take you to your room. I want to undress you. I want to
make love to you.”
“Wow,
Speedy Gonzales in the flesh here. You sure don’t waste any time. A girl‘s got
to put on her track suit with you around.”
“Or
take it off,” he added.
Laverne
shrugged. She took him by the hand and led him into her bedroom. True to his
word, he immediately undressed Laverne and put her down on the bed. She pulled
the sheets up to her chin and waited for him to join her. He then surprised her
by pulling out of his pocket a baggie filled with white powder. “Hey, what’s
that stuff?” asked Laverne. “Better not be cocaine because I don’t do no drugs.”
“It’s
not cocaine,” he said.
“Oh
yeah? Then what is it?”
“It’s
corn starch.”
“Corn
starch?” said Laverne. “What are you doing, baking a cake?”
“No,”
he replied. “I’m going to rub it on your body. It’ll feel good.”
“Corn
starch on me?” she said. “What am I, a lump of gravy?”
“No.”
“Corn
starch on me?” she repeated. “What am I, a can of soup?”
“No.”
“Corn
starch on me?“ she repeated yet again. “What am I, a custard dessert?”
“Look,”
he said, “it washes off easy. I think you’ll like it.”
“I
think I’ll be vacuuming for a week,” she said.
He
ripped the sheet from her body. She covered herself as best she could. “No, you
don’t need to do that,” he said. “It won’t hurt you at all.” He drizzled the
cool corn starch from her neck to her knees. He rubbed it into her skin. She
said to him, “It feels like if I roll around some I’ll turn into a giant
burrito.”
“No,
you’re fine,” he said to Laverne. “You feel good and I feel good.” He then
undressed himself and got on top of her. Afterwards she said to him, “Well, you
look like a powdered donut but that sure was fun. Say, what was your name
again?”
“They
call me the Corn Starch Kid. I don‘t go anywhere without my corn starch.”
“The
Corn Starch Kid?” said Laverne. “Now I've heard everything. But hey, Corn Starch,
let’s say we do it again, okay?”
The
end…until the next town anyway.
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